we've all begun to die and don't know what to do.

you should check it out.

coraline by neil gaiman.



(the fuck? i've seen like 3 scorpions in the house in the past 2 days.)

please talk to me. i'm pretty desperate.

706 601 3669.


(only if you're in the us, bitte. =P)

i have wasted years of my life
agonising about the fires;
i started when i thought that to be strong,
you must be flame-retardant,
and now to trust the wounds
calls into question how authentic they are.
there is always someone criticising me:
"she just likes playing hosptial."
lying in my bed,
i remember what you said,
'there's no such thing as accidents.'


-- "ampersand" by amanda palmer.

just finished night.

i've never cried at a book before...

Do humans carry souls?
maybe.

What about animals?
if humans do, they do.

Was September 11th a government conspiracy?
i think at most, they might've known it would happen and did nothing.

Do you believe a plane actually hit the pentagon?
yes.

Are the methods the U.S. is using to handle illegal immigration satisfactory?
no.

Do you think that John F. Kennedy's assasination was a government conspiracy?
i don't know much about it.

Do you believe that the moon landing in 1969 actually happened?
it's spotty, but probably.

Do you believe in ghosts?
yes.

Can subjection to violence in media lead to violence in the real world?
i don't think so.

Did O.J. Simpson murder his wife?
obviously.

Do you believe going to war in Iraq was the right thing to do?
not really, but in some ways it's helped.

Can we as people ever co-exist with eachother peacefully?
nope.

Do you believe the course of our lives are pre-determined by unseen/unknown forces?
probably.

Has democracy made the world a better place?
yes.

Was the governments reaction to Hurricane Katrina acceptable?
no.

Are celebrities punished justly for crimes they commit?
no.

Can we ever win the war on terror?
probably not.

Are professional athletes over-compensated for their abilities?
insanely.

Did the fabled people of Atlantis ever exist?
i like to think so.

Are there other intelligent beings in the universe?
there has to be.

Should the 1st Amendment protect all forms of expression, including those that may be offensive or harmful to others?
yes.

Is it better for one innocent man to be sent to death or 5 murderers to be pardoned?
i can't make these decisions. D=

ESSAY QUESTIONS (One to two short paragraphs)

In the case of homosexuality, do you believe it's sin?
no.

Can the human race ever help the planet Earth to recover from the ecological damage it has suffered?
no, but we can keep it from getting much worse.

Will race/ethnicity always be an issue amongst differing peoples?
most likely.

Are you for or against abortion?
against abortions, but for the choice.

Are you for or against capital punishment (i.e. the death penalty)?
against.

Why?
i don't think it makes sense to punish the crime with the crime.

FINAL QUESTION (3 part question)

part 1- Do you practice any form of religion? Why?
vaguely. i haven't figured anything out yet.

part 2- Do you believe that the writings in the bible can still apply to today's world?
i think you have to take some of it symbolically and adjust the rest to the environment.

part 3- Has religion made the world a better or worse place?
both.

when i was 7, i met keith strickland in a mcdonalds.

i don't care what anyone says; i want that man in and around me.

also!

adam lambert is totally gay. there's documented evidence. as if we needed proof.

http://www.votefortheworst.com/20090301/adam_lambert_likes_take_pictures_himself_making_out_some_dude



this season kinda disappoints me. i always say that about every new show i watch, but eventually i always love the people in it. this time, it really just hasn't happened.


by the by, i played fob trail today. they all died before i reached new orleans. =[ i was hoping to get far enough to see panic. maybe next time.

<3
jk.

me and austin saw fired up! for suckish movie saturday, and it was actually okay.

save money and rent it, though.

i'm very very very not proud.

hearing that on the news had me laughing for a good 7 minutes.

i'm sure anyone who cares knows by now, but anywhoozle.

i never had problems with keltie; i've even kinda liked her. but i read her blogpost where she went ridiculously drama queen and accused ryan of cheating:

"Today is a day of heartbreak.

This morning as I got up to make my lover some delicious post vday breakie after seeing a great Billy Joel concert last night, I got roses, and rosepetals on the bed and champange and the whole works, a message came across on his phone. Upon opening this phone it seems he is a cheater, liar and has broken my heart.
I threw that ring in his face. Packed my shit. and Got the hell out. I deserve the stars.

I cannot even speak. yet. All I can do is cry."


for one thing, i'm only like 97% sure she actually wrote that. but i'm not convinced ryan is the cheating type; maybe it was a misunderstanding or a lie. or maybe it's none of my business.

if he did cheat, i'd only still like him if it was brendon. =P

also. what the fuck was she doing looking in his phone?


i found it funny that a week or two ago on weresoblogging, ryan posted a fortune cookie he got reading" in time you will offend everyone you know."


<3
jk.

in many states, first cousins can only marry each other if there's no way they could have children.

considering one of the main reason gays can't get married is that the point of marriage is to have children, it leads me to wonder:

what the fucking fuck is wrong with people?

http://www.tvgasm.com/newsgasm/index.php#a009061


jesus fucking christ.

what could she have possibly done?

and i mean the class. namely because there's so much drama.

everyone hates each other. not to their faces though. they get in little groups to talk about people, then go to the people they just talked about and talk about the people they were talking about them with. confused? you don't know the half of it.

i'm a freshman, so i haven't been around them that long, but apparently there's still reason for people who've never even seen me to bitch about me.

the new play just got casted and everyone's pissed off about the choices. i got stage manager, and mr. sirmons thought i was really good last time. i was under the impression so did a lot of other people.

but the ones who didn't get cast are like "she shouldn't have gotten that; she's a freshman; she's only done one play with us; people who actually auditioned and didn't get cast should be the ones who do that."

and it really shouldn't be a big deal, but when people who either don't know you or people you thought really liked you automatically hate you for it, it kind of sucks.

and one of the main reasons i put up with all the crap that comes with it is because i really really enjoyed the people i was working with. but half of them hate me.


the worst part, i guess, is them thinking i was so awful last time.

i was there every single day, from start to finish. more than most of the cast. i spent a lot of my own money buying props and materials. i spent hours copying scripts and rehearsal schedules, even when people lost them. designing programs and putting posters up over school and the town by myself. keeping up with lists of costumes and props, things we needed, and where they were. one day i cleaned the entire backstage of all the crap that had been there for years, and cleared the wings to make it easier to walk through. i went through an entire script marking all the set changes for the other stagehands who didn't even look at it, and a page of light and sound cues for the technicians. i spent an entire night making blocking posters to set up backstage. and at least twice i stayed with mr. sirmons and one other person till 1 am to get all the sets built and painted. i usually cleaned up after every rehearsal, all the makeup and costumes and food left out.

no one ever appreciated anything. but i still did it, because it actually meant something to me.

and i know that anyone who wants to be a stage manager either will give up after a few days because it's boring or too hard, or else they'll just sit around and watch every day and get their name on the program opening night.


doing the play last semester was something that- for some reason- actually made me happy. it distracted me from how miserable i was feeling or how bad i was doing in school, and gave me something to do so i wasn't sitting at home every day like a loser.

maybe i just had it too good for too long.



in other news, i learned to play lonesome organist rapes page turner. joy.

<3

i usually say i hate it because it's purely commercial and it doesn't really mean a thing.

but of course i actually hate it because i'm always alone.

today, i've only been awake one hour and there's no one in the house. no one's online; no one answers their phone.

even my cat ran outside before i could pet her.

1. What is your name: jessica.

2. A four letter word: junk.

3. A boy's name: james.

4. A girl's Name: jinger, according to the duggars. jasmine! i like jasmine.

5. An occupation: jam master.

6. A color: j...aunty yellow?

7. Something you wear: all i can think of is jock strap. D=

8. A food: jalapenos. (bear with me, here.)

9. Something found in the bathroom: fuck the letter j.

10. A place: jacksonville. (the memories...)

11. A reason for being late: james was being a douchebag.

12. Something you shout: JAMES IS A DOUCHEBAG.

13. A movie title: jumanji. ..have i even seen that movie?

14. Something you drink: juice!

15. A musical group: jill came tumbling after. (idk, some crappy emo group.)

16. An animal: jiraffe. =]

17. A street name: bluejay way.

18. A type of car: junky.

19. A song title: just dayance.

20. A verb: jacking.

my music appreciation teacher mr. stanley is gay, and everyone loves to make fun of it. including me, unfortunately. =P

he left the room one time, and this is how the conversation went:


jeremy: he probably went into the hallway to text his boyfriend.

30 seconds later...

ethan: he probably went into the bathroom to masturbate.
me: [looking through the windows into the hallway.] nope, he went into the chorus room.
ethan: psh. my version is better.
me: well, you don't want he could be doing in the chorus room.
ethan: freakin' on the piano.
me: well, there's class going on now. a class full of only boys...
sandy: no wonder he went in there.

2 minutes later...

jeremy: that was fast, mr. stanley.
mr. stanley: ...
jeremy: you silly goose.


i heart that class.

i fucking LOVE amy winehouse.




"It's not important to me to make other people at ease. I am difficult, but that's 'cause I don’t really give a fuck."